Anticipation of Change...

Sometimes change happens so quickly that we are left dumbfounded – unsure how to process the situation. Other times, change happens so slowly that we are unable to pin-point exactly where it began or see where it ended. Maybe in these situations change is not the right word. Perhaps we are just walking along our life’s path and at moments we wake up and find ourselves in a different place. In these moments of reflection, we see clearly where we have come from and look forward to where we are headed. Things look different because our spirits grow and… change. Our experiences and feelings weave through our lives changing our perspectives, our desires and our dreams.

I feel myself changing. The way I look at the world has shifted so much over the past few years. My dreams and desires have also changed as I have experienced different things. I am content with who I am and what I am doing, but my heart aches for a change.

This change means uprooting myself and moving. Changing to live in a place that I love, being around people I care about, going back to school and working towards a new professional goal. All these things are intimidating and overwhelming to process. However, instead of fear and anxiety I feel anticipation and excitement. I miss so many things about the city I fell in love with over the summer. The busy spirit, the multi-cultural flare and artistic influence make Toronto a desirable place to be.

So, when I found myself in a different place and recognized how I have changed, I made decisions. I have applied to programs and I will continue to look at other options as back-ups. At home I do not feel as motivated or content – so I need to move where I will feel happy. Will I miss things about the life I have here? Of course! I have wonderful friends, an incredible family and mountains. These things will continue to exist while I am gone and coming home is always an option. My heart just feels pulled in a different direction and making the choice not to follow it would be cheating myself. So, I am being open to what is ahead. I am open to changes and growth. I am open to new experiences and new feelings. I face all these things with anticipation.